Anecdotal Library
BPD Stories from People with BPD and Their Loved Ones
Fully understanding Borderline Personality Disorder is a bit easier when you don’t feel alone. For this reason, we have compiled some stories of those who have suffered from BPD…as well as some stories from the loved ones of someone with BPD. Simply click the link of the story you wish to read or scroll through this page!
Stories from People Who Struggled with BPD…
Darlene, 61 years old [The “Accomplished Loose Cannon”]
Brooke, 36 years old [The “Innocent Victim”]
Melanie, 36 years old [The “Jealous Destructive”]
Gregg, 31 years old [The “Hot Head”]
Sarah, 40 years old [The “Hypersensitive & Meltdown Prone”]
Michelle, 32 years old [The “Inappropriate People Pleaser”]
Kayla, 27 years old [The “Certified-Crazy Identity Crisis”]
Dennis, 28 years old [The “Vindictive People Pleaser”]
Abigail, 19 years old [The “Self-Harming Victim”]
Curtis, 47 years old [The “Paranoid Alcoholic”]
Jason, 38 years old [The “Apathetic Blamer”]
Chris, 21 years old [The “Failure to Launch”]
Mandy, 21 years old [The “Impulsive Anti-Social”]
Katie, 13 years old [The “Scary Temper Tantrum”]
Stories from Loved Ones of People with BPD…
Matthew, 43 years old [Husband to a BPD Wife (40 years old)]
Vanessa, 20 years old [Girlfriend to a BPD Girlfriend (19 years old)]
Kate, 63 years old [Mother to a BPD Son (39 years old)]
Doug, 58 years old [Husband to a BPD Wife (54 years old)]
Denise, 53 years old [Mother to a BPD Daughter (22 years old)]
Leeann, 32 years old [Girlfriend to a BPD Boyfriend (35 years old)]
Dan, 53 years old [Father to a BPD Son (20 years old)]
Stories (BPD)…
Darlene (BPD), 61 years old [The “Accomplished Loose Cannon”]
Darlene has been married to her husband Tom for over thirty years. She lives a relatively clean lifestyle, free of alcohol, substances, and reckless behavior. She loves holistic medicine, exercises daily, and eats healthily. Despite appearing as though Darlene may have a wonderful life, she struggles with constant worry of judgment, disdain for criticism, and fear of social settings. She has built up a hate for her husband which is displayed on and off for days at a time. All it takes for Darlene to snap is the perception that Tom has disrespected her, neglected her, or failed to show her love the right way.
From Tom’s perspective, he does everything he can to show Darlene she is loved and cared for. But if he fails to suggest an outing first, wants a little alone time at the T.V., or goes to sleep too early, she becomes extremely upset with him. One time, Darlene split on Tom for days, screaming profusely, and threatening to leave him because he took the long way home from work. Although Darlene may have a lot of accomplishments, she remains in a constant state of depression and threatens to abandon her life on a weekly basis. This has been very hard on her husband, who struggles to share his opinion out of fear of the consequences.
Brooke (BPD), 36 years old [The “Innocent Victim”]
Brooke has been married to her husband Jeff for 12 years. She is a devoted Christian, has conservative moral values, had a reasonably “normal” childhood, works out every day, and an accomplished author. Jeff recently became a pastor at a local church, offering teachings and seminars for certain groups within the church, one-on-one spiritual counseling, and sermons for the entire congregation. While her jealous outbursts would be present all throughout their lives together, it has become a lot worse after Jeff became a pastor.
After Jeff became a pastor, one of Jeff’s responsibilities was to provide spiritual lessons and seminars every Sunday for the women of the church. He would also offer one-on-one spiritual counseling for some of these women, as needed. Brooke had an extremely tough time with this concept, as it makes her feel as though he is going to leave her for one of the women. She has a significant fear of him spending time with these other women and will often punish him by staying in the car during his women’s seminars. On their way home after church, and all throughout the next couple of days, she will take her aggression out on Jeff, shaming him, degrading him, and threatening to leave him. These interactions have put a significant strain on their relationship, and no matter what, she always feels it is one-hundred percent Jeff’s fault.
Melanie (BPD), 36 years old [The “Jealous Destructive”]
Melanie has 4 children and a boyfriend she recently met a few months ago. Her and her children live on farmland owned by her parents in the guest house. Melanie is an artist and photographer, painting murals for local businesses and offering photography services for local weddings. She has a lot of clients, as she is considerably good at everything she does. Her boyfriend, Steve, is a local lawyer and has been very successful running his own firm. Melanie knows she’s always been the jealous type, but with Steve, she has become far more paranoid about him leaving her.
Melanie and Steve had a date night planned one Friday evening. Leading up to the date, she noticed he was responding to her texts a lot slower than she was used to. After bringing it up to Steve towards the end of the workday, he reassured her that he simply “had a lot of casework in court and could not get to the phone.” Agitated and without truly accepting this answer, Melanie pretended to let it go. Later that night, back at Steve’s place after dinner, Melanie noticed a Google search on his computer. He was looking up the cost of properties in a state 500 miles away from where they lived. Hysterical, and fearing he was going to leave her to move somewhere else, she began to throw a wild fit, even destroying a sculpture made by one of his previous girlfriends.
Gregg (BPD), 31 years old [The “Hot Head”]
Gregg is freshly out of the military, having served 8 years in the Army. He is currently finishing his degree in engineering. He has been married for 6 years to his wife, Stacy, the mother of his three children. They have plans to open a business together soon and it heavily depends on Gregg finishing his degree to obtain funding. Gregg is in shape and works out every day. He practices and teaches martial arts at a local dojo. Gregg and Stacy attend church together every Sunday. Stacy typically takes care of the kids and the house while Gregg works on his education.
Unfortunately, Gregg has been having a rough time feeling good about himself lately, playing too many video games and developing an addiction to pornography. Despite Stacy offering regular intimacy, his pornography addiction has become so bad that he feels unattracted to his wife. Gregg has also been feeling worthless, purposeless, and unattractive in general lately. When he feels he has let his wife or anyone else down, he has been having raged-filled outbursts, punching holes in the wall, insulting the people around him, and destroying his own property. He was recently disciplined at his University for threatening a teacher who gave him a poor mark on an essay. This unpredictable and erratic behavior have given him the nick name “Hot Head” by his family and peers.
Sarah (BPD), 40 years old [The “Hypersensitive & Meltdown Prone”]
Sarah has been married to her husband for nearly twenty years. They have two beautiful children together, sons. She works as a waitress and her husband, John, works as a day trader. Sarah has always put her kids first, but often feels as though she is placed last in the household. She does a lot for the household and her family. She cooks, cleans, takes care of the kids, and still works five nights a week. Sarah’s family loves her, and she has no trouble making friends.
Under the surface, however, Sarah feels extremely nervous, and her husband would call her “hypersensitive.” Any perception of judgment or criticism can send Sarah into an instant spiral. At least twice a week, Sarah will have a meltdown that feels although it comes out of nowhere. Both her husband and her children experience these meltdowns. Unfortunately, it involves slamming doors, breaking objects, and screaming awful threats and insults at her husband. She threatens to leave her family at least once per week, and usually threatens to end her life in the process. These types of reactions have generated a lot of panic in the household, and no one ever knows which version of Sarah they will come home to.
Michelle (BPD), 32 years old [The “Inappropriate People Pleaser”]
Michelle works as a psychiatric nurse and has had an impressive education. She has multiple degrees in nursing and medicine, and she has been recognized for stellar performance at work throughout the years on a regular basis. Her patients love her, as do her supervisors and coworkers. In her personal life, Michelle and her latest boyfriend, Mikhail, are approaching six months together. They enjoy traveling and are often found escaping to a new location nearly every weekend.
Within the last few months, however, their weekend getaways have begun ending in tragedy. In fact, the pattern has become so predictable that her boyfriend no longer wants to go on these trips with her, suggesting she has become “too unstable” to travel with. In the last few weeks of the couple staying at home, Michelle has continued her weekend outbursts at home. The last outburst occurred after she suggested he take an umbrella when going to his job interview. Mikhail refused to take the umbrella, despite Michelle’s warnings that it may rain on his way. He texted her at the job location stating he regretted not taking the umbrella, as he was soaking wet. This sent Michelle into an irrational spiral, as she began to feel “not good enough,” taking on the accountability of her boyfriend’s decision. Before the end of the day, they would be arguing about whether he was going to “leave her,” with her citing all of the things in his life which appeared more important to him (his friends, his family, colleagues, his job pursuit, and more). This would end with Michelle beating herself in her head and breaking a few of her most precious belongings.
Kayla (BPD), 27 years old [The “Certified-Crazy Identity Crisis”]
Kayla is a well-trained, budding nurse who has been instrumental in her hospital for helping several patients in inpatient treatment programs climb over their trauma and better manage their lives. She has a beautiful 4-year-old daughter and very supportive parents. Kayla’s parents are very close with their granddaughter, looking after her roughly half the week. Kayla lives with a roommate and has a few close friends. She usually makes it to the gym at least a few times a week.
When Kayla is not at work and does not have her daughter, she has led a very dangerous lifestyle. This lifestyle began to creep in more often in later years, and her parents had to watch her daughter more and more often. Kayla’s parents have also had to help with her bills a lot more lately, as she has had to take a lot of time off work to enter inpatient psychiatric hospital stays herself for her erratic behavior. Her dangerous lifestyle included immense cocaine use, binge drinking, self-harm, suicide threats, and intense promiscuity. The more this behavior occurred, the more worthless Kayla would feel. Her stay in the hospital lasted weeks at a time and occurred multiple times each year. Unfortunately, the hospital stays, even despite the intensity of the programs, would never help change or eliminate her inappropriate behavior, but only prevent her from partaking in the behavior during her stay. This perpetual behavior has created a great deal of fear for her parents; and lately, she has been worried about losing custody of her daughter.
Dennis (BPD), 28 years old [The “Vindictive People Pleaser”]
Dennis has classically worked in an office as an accountant, and always been extremely brilliant with numbers. Anytime Dennis was in a relationship that appeared happy, he would be a tremendously reliable employee and earn a great deal of money. He was considered a great provider in these times. Regardless of all his contributions to his relationship, Dennis never quite felt “good enough,” and would always be worried his partner was cheating on him or going to leave him for someone else. This placed significant strain on his partner, who would be endlessly forced to reassure him that they would stay.
After Dennis’ last partner decided she could no longer handle his insecurities, she broke it off and moved out of their shared apartment. The breakup felt so sudden, despite all his previous relationships ending roughly the same way. Dennis would soon lose his job for failure to show up and be forced to move back in with his parents. He became extremely vindictive and would find ways to show his ex-girlfriend exactly how badly she hurt him. Dennis turned his suspicions of her non-existent affair into a perceived reality by harassing her coworkers and supervisors at work. The rumor mill would soon get his ex-girlfriend fired from her job and force her to file a restraining order against him. The entire time, Dennis would feel justified in his vindictive behavior, as he would only see his own pain, remaining a victim when he isn’t a hero.
Abigail (BPD), 19 years old [The “Self-Harming Victim”]
Abigail is one of the few students each year to receive a full academic scholarship to a prestigious university. She is not only an academic superstar, but also a stellar athlete, even being named captain of several sports teams at her university. She has a wonderful girlfriend, Cece, who has worked a full-time job as a massage therapist to afford to take Abigail out on the weekends and be able to live near her. Despite Abigail having to live in the dormitory for the first two years of school, she often spends most of her time at Cece’s apartment.
Although Cece has been an extremely supportive and committed girlfriend, Abigail has been paranoid and jealous any time Cece talks to any other woman. Abigail has forced Cece to block several of her childhood friends, simply because they are female. Abigail throws a massive fit anytime Cece even appears to look at another female. Cece has started to learn that she cannot even watch a movie with a female lead role without constantly turning her head away from the T.V. to avoid upsetting Abigail. Cece has begun to feel “trained” to avoid certain topics, otherwise, she fears that Abigail may cut herself and threaten suicide again. This has obviously made Cece’s career as a massage therapist very difficult. Lately, Cece has been walking on so many eggshells, she has had thoughts about leaving the relationship.
Curtis (BPD), 47 years old [The “Paranoid Alcoholic”]
Curtis is well-respected in his field of aeronautics, being one of the top technicians in his department. He earns an amazing wage and can often fix problems no one else can resolve. He has three sons with his wife of 14 years, and lives in a very nice house which he owns. Curtis has many friends, enjoys fantasy football, and is an avid golfer in his spare time. Under usual circumstances, he coaches his children’s sports teams.
Unfortunately, Curtis has always had several outbursts from excessive drinking, where he would scream at his family, suggesting that he “deserves better” while also exclaiming he is “not good enough.” He would perpetually suggest that she no longer loved him and wanted to be with someone else. After years of suffering as a family through this behavior, Curtis’ wife left him a few months ago after his latest outbursts, and neither her nor their three sons have spoken to him since. While he has been showing up to his job, he has begun performing poorly at work. He has been absent from his hobbies, isolating himself from his friends, and drinking more every day. Last weekend, he sent a lot of drunk texts to his wife. Some of them were threatening suicide and blaming her for everything. Some of them were begging her to give him another chance, claiming he would “do better this time.” He has been finding himself drinking himself into a slumber under interstate overpasses, even still dressed in his work attire.
Jason (BPD), 38 years old [The “Apathetic Blamer”]
Jason is a fantastic, celebrated chef who has even owned his own restaurants in the past. In his later years, he has focused on offering his services to some of the most prestigious families in his city. He has 2 children and has been married to his wife, Valerie, for a few years. Jason has always taken tremendous pride in his work, often sacrificing greatly to achieve client satisfaction. When he is not cooking, he enjoys making music, another creative skill of which he excels.
Despite his incredible talents, Jason has been very difficult to live with, and to work with. For this reason, his two children have not talked to him in over a year, his siblings have ignored him for years, and his wife recently left him a few months ago. His drinking and recreational drug use has been exacerbating his pain, as he would often lash out at those who are close to him. Jason always has the perspective that the people who love him are “doing something to him,” that he is never in the wrong. After losing his wife, he finally reached a place of ultimate apathy, where he no longer took any chef gigs and no longer made any music. Most of his time would be spent drinking to numb himself back at his mother’s house, where he retreated out of shame. No matter how hard he tries to motivate himself, having lost so many people recently has left him feeling empty and defeated. And still, it is always “someone else’s fault.”
Chris (BPD), 21 years old [The “Failure to Launch”]
Chris never had trouble making friends throughout grade school, having a seemingly normal childhood from the surface. He was an incredible athlete and always had a girlfriend. His friends all envied him and his accomplishments. Chris had dreams of becoming a scientist, and thought he could change the world. He had maintained his dreams and accomplishments throughout school despite his parents getting divorced in his junior year.
After high school ended, Chris would steadily lose touch with his friends. His long-term girlfriend left him as he started to pick up drinking and substantial marijuana use. Despite having been accepted into a wonderful local university, he began playing video games all day long until eventually dropping out after failing several classes in his first semester. He feels directionless and developed some significant anger, which he takes out on his mother and their home together. He has not seen his father for years.
Mandy (BPD), 21 years old [The “Impulsive Anti-Social”]
Mandy was always a bright young lady, filled with potential and charisma. She lives at home with her adoptive parents and two brothers, all who love her a great deal. She has worked many different jobs. She has had many friends and has never had trouble getting a boyfriend. Mandy has an interest in psychology and, being adopted herself, wants to one day help children suffering from psychological trauma resulting from adoption.
Mandy’s life may look enjoyable on the surface, but every day is filled with turmoil within her home. She throws fits, yelling about how “no one wants her around,” “no one loves her,” and “everyone would be better off if she were gone.” She stole a lot of money from her youngest brother, spread nasty rumors about her oldest brother, and gets into screaming matches with both of her parents on a regular basis. She has been using a lot of illicit drugs, drinking daily, and sometimes doesn’t come home at night, worrying her parents a great deal. Mandy believes she doesn’t belong, always wanting to run away.
Katie (BPD), 13 years old [The “Scary Temper Tantrum”]
Katie lives with her adoptive parents, who took her in when she was 7 years old. She has two biological brothers she still sees occasionally, and 2 adoptive brothers who live in the same home as her. Her adoptive parents and brothers love her tremendously. She is extremely intelligent and in many advanced placement classes in school. In fact, she is considered a “gifted student.” She has many friends who she can see during and after school each day. She is heavily involved in several extracurricular activities including color guard, band, volleyball, and photography.
Katie’s mother has recently been finding small bottles of alcohol, knives, lighters, and cigarettes hidden in her closet. She found some entries in Katie’s diary which expressed extreme self-loathing and suicidal thoughts. Katie routinely throws intense temper tantrums in front of her brothers, friends, or mother. In these fits of rage, she will cut herself, bash her head into the wall, punch holes in the walls or doors, and break things throughout the house. Sometimes she will attempt to choke herself out with a rope. In these moments, she appears to the rest of the world to be a completely different person. These types of fits have landed her in the hospital countless times, and her family is very scared with no idea as to what to do.
Stories (BPD Loved Ones)…
Matthew, 43 years old [Husband to a BPD Wife (40 years old)]
Matthew has been married to his wife, Lucy, for a long time, in fact, they were high school sweethearts and never been with anyone else. They have three children together. Matthew works a steady job and has always been a great provider. Lucy has been a stay-at-home mother for most of their marriage. Matthew always understood Lucy to be a jealous, hypersensitive woman, however, he’s loved her despite the regular arguments caused by the behavior.
Lately, however, Matthew has become responsible for more at work and has had to work longer hours. These longer hours have exacerbated Lucy’s insecurities, as she constantly accuses him of cheating with a coworker, or not being where he claims to be. She gets upset if he does not text him back fast enough through the day, and when he finally gets home, she almost always begins screaming at him. When she isn’t screaming at him, she will completely ignore him and pretend although he doesn’t exist at all. On the weekends, when Matthew is around more often, she almost always threatens suicide, and sometimes disappears for hours in the middle of the night. Matthew has become increasingly worried as he has seen similar behaviors developing in their children.
Vanessa, 20 years old [Girlfriend to a BPD Girlfriend (19 years old)]
Vanessa is dating and living with her BPD girlfriend, Pauline. They are living in Pauline’s father’s apartment while they both attend college. Pauline has always considered herself an introvert and has been pursuing a degree in computer science. Vanessa has always been an extrovert, loving social gatherings, and is pursuing a degree in sociology. They spend their weekends watching movies and meeting with other couples for dinner and outings.
Behind the scenes, Pauline is very nervous about Vanessa’s outgoing personality. She has been very carefully watching Vanessa’s every move on social media and brings up any instance of her liking another woman’s post or following any other women. She has forced her to remove all women from her profile. She recently told Vanessa that she cannot be friends with anyone at school who is female, and even made her quit her study group out of fear of losing her to someone else. The entire time, Pauline would try to convince Vanessa that it was abnormal for her to want to be a part of the study group or have female friends. To get the point across, Pauline has been cutting herself whenever she finds out Vanessa has even platonically interacted with another female. This type of behavior has Vanessa terrified to interact with the outside world out of fear Pauline will have an episode and wind up hurting herself again.
Kate, 63 years old [Mother to a BPD Son (39 years old)]
Kate lives with her father and her son (Louis) in the home her and her late husband built together. Her son moved back home into her fully furnished basement apartment a few years ago after going through a major breakup with his long-term girlfriend. Kate handles all the housework, the cooking, allows her son to live rent-free, and invites him upstairs to hang out as often as possible. Kate has always been very kind to her son, despite all the stress surrounding her life. Her father, for instance, has dementia and has been battling other health concerns as well.
Louis works as an auto mechanic and is considerably good at what he does at work; however, ever since his girlfriend left him and he was forced to move back home, he has not been able to get his wheels spinning again. He was always a bit of a hot head, suffering angry, unpredictable outbursts whenever he felt criticized, judged, unappreciated, or unimportant. Now that he has had to swallow some pride, he has become more aggressive. He takes his life’s frustrations out on his mother and his grandfather, going on long tirades. He continually blames his mother for everything wrong in his life. He takes advantage of everything Kate provides him…free housing, free food and cooking, free maid services, and free affection. Meanwhile, he will get so angry he will scare her into a corner where he will punch holes in the walls right beside her head. He sends paragraphs upon paragraphs of angry texts throughout the day, and torments Kate when he gets home from work. Lately, Kate has realized something has to change, but he has been so difficult to interact with, she is scared to make any adjustments.
Doug, 58 years old [Husband to a BPD Wife (54 years old)]
Doug has been with his wife, Brandi, for more than ten years. He has loved her the entire time, never forgetting a single anniversary or birthday. He gives her regular massages, brings her home flowers a few times a year, and has accepted her children as his own. Doug works as a trucker, so sometimes he is gone for a couple of weeks at a time, but he always remembers to bring her and her children back a gift when he returns.
Although Doug has been as accommodating as possible, Brandi gets extremely nervous when Doug is on the road. She worries about him cheating on her with random people at random stops. She has even accused him of having a second family that hides from her on the other side of the country. She is constantly worried about him leaving her and her children. When he is in town, she almost always has an episode, reckless driving and threatening to run her car off a local cliff. She will call members of his family and complain about Doug, also taking it out on his family in the process. One time, Doug came home to find Brandi had moved all his possessions onto the front lawn…only hours later for her to once again beg him to stay.
Denise, 53 years old [Mother to a BPD Daughter (22 years old)]
Denise is the mother of a highly intelligent daughter, Christy, who works as a legal assistant at a well-established law firm. Denise and her husband gave her daughter every opportunity they could, allowing her the opportunity to pursue her business degree and supporting her throughout many tumultuous relationships. They have given her every bit of love they could afford, remaining as engaged in her life as possible along the way.
In Christy’s latest relationship, she has been displaying scarier behavior than usual. After moving into her boyfriend’s house after knowing him for a month, Christy has been sending very dark messages threatening suicide and self-harm on a weekly basis. She claims she is in danger living with her boyfriend and working at the law firm, as if any man she is close to may be a threat to her personal safety. Her mother does not see any evidence of danger, and finds her supervisors, coworkers, and boyfriend to be very supporting, caring people. Christy has been turning to alcohol to cope and recently used her parents credit card while drunk to purchase nearly five thousand dollars’ worth of clothes and merchandise. After Denise found out what her daughter did, Christy purposely wrecked her car and wound up in the hospital.
Leeann, 32 years old [Girlfriend to a BPD Boyfriend (35 years old)]
Leeann has been dating her BPD boyfriend, Tyler for nearly a year. She has two daughters and Tyler has one son, and they have been all living together for the last 2 months. Leeann is a medical doctor, running a successful practice she started herself. Tyler is a construction worker. Because Leeann has a nice house in a good school district already paid off, the couple decided Tyler and his son would move into her place.
The father of Leeann’s two daughters is heavily involved in their children’s lives, and thus, he is at nearly every event and regularly interacts with Leeann. This has been extremely difficult for Tyler, who has been feeling jealous about their interactions. Although Leeann’s children have expressed how much they like Tyler, recently, they have been let down as Tyler will agree to show up to events that he ends up not attending. In his last episode, Tyler said a lot of hurtful things to Leeann including wishing her and her children “die and burn in hell along with her ex-husband.” Tyler will get so angry he will punch out his own windshield, smash his cellphone (as well as Leeann’s), and sleep in the car to avoid going into the house.
Donnie, 53 years old [Father to a BPD Son (20 years old)]
Donnie is the father of a BPD son, Daniel. Daniel has always had an interest in filmography, scriptwriting, and directing. His father always thought Daniel would become very successful in the film and entertainment industry. He has always provided his son with support and love. Although Daniel’s mother has not lived with them for a few years following a rather amicable divorce, she has also been very supportive and loving, wishing to have as much time with her son as possible.
Daniel recently moved back home after flunking out of his second year of college. He spends his days smoking marijuana, playing video games, and avoiding his father at all costs. For this reason, he typically stays awake at night while his father is sleeping, just to be able to leave his room without seeing him. Daniel also avoids his mother’s calls and requests for visits. When he does interact with his parents, they fight, as Daniel has no interest in hearing either of their opinions about his life, what he “needs to do,” or what he’s “doing wrong.” Daniel will hold his father hostage for hours by following him around the house screaming at him about how it is “all his father’s fault.” If Daniel isn’t blaming his father, he is texting or calling his mother and screaming at her. Unfortunately, Daniel sees no point in making any effort to improve his life, seeming to be trapped in his negative mindset.